After all, to the well–organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.
J.K. Rowling
Death is scary, but it is unavoidable. Lately I feel hypersensitive to its inevitability. The anniversary of my friend Jackson’s death, the recent death of my best friend’s brother, of another friend’s dad, the kidney failure of my childhood dog… all these events piled up around the same time. Anthony Bourdain always comes to mind when I linger on the topic. Bourdain inspired me — his exploration, love of travel and food, his unapologetic authenticity. His tragic suicide haunts me. These undeniable truths send me spinning. So I was spinning. I kept picturing this roulette table and myself as one of the little balls, trapped on the wheel, spinning endlessly. No control. No certainty.
Death is certain. This sounds dark, but it’s true. We have a stigma around death. Although it happens to everyone, our society never wants to talk about it. The United States especially is very thanatophobic, or “death-a-phobic”. We’re afraid of death. When you’re hanging out with friends, the last thing you want to do is bring up our imminent annihilation. It’s a bit of a buzz kill.
I’m afraid too.
I meditate for 20 minutes daily, but it hasn’t been enough lately to calm my mind. I turned to The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Part of the book’s process includes Morning Pages. Every morning you write your stream of consciousness for three pages. Death and afterlife have been coming up a lot in mine.
Religion tends to lead the discussion around the afterlife. Some believe in Heaven and Hell, others in Reincarnation. There are 4200 religions that exist in the world today, and they all believe they are right and others are wrong. It’s staggering and confusing and a little funny. I’m obsessed with studying the countless and fascinating possibilities.
Sadhguru, a yogi, mystic and author, has a YouTube channel which relays insights about self, life, and afterlife. He talks about our avoidance of the death and in some cases, our denial. As he explains in one of his videos:
“Death… is one of the most under-researched areas in healthcare globally and many people, including doctors and academics, do not see any benefits in researching death as they feel that it is unnecessary as it ultimately does not contribute to prolonging life.”
Death is one of the only things that will positively happen to every person, yet we don’t know anything about it for certain.
Near-death experiences are a popular subject of books, movies and news stories. Probably because someone has escaped death, our worst fear, but also because they have an insight into the experience. We often spread and share causes of death. There are freak accidents, murders, natural disasters, painful illnesses, untimely deaths or prolonged deaths. Do we spread this information in order to prepare or frighten? Or is it just a fascination?
We could die at any time.
People die playing video games. 150 people die a year from falling coconuts. Recently I read a story about a man who died at Burning Man while having sex… honestly… not a bad way to go. I’d take that.
So if we can die any day, what do we do? Learn from its fragility. Embrace it.
Sadhguru talks about being grateful for every morning you wake up. That in itself is a blessing. You’re awake! You’re alive! Everything that happens to you that day is amazing, because you are grateful for the gift of life. We overcomplicate everything. If you are conscious of your mortality, you are in constant thanks for the moments you have.
This could be my last day.
I say this to myself every day when I leave my condo and go down the elevator.
Some people might read this and think that’s a negative way to leave your house. I think it’s the opposite. It reminds me that I am only here for a short amount of time. I need to live each day as best I can. I need to surround myself with people I love and who love me. I need to take more chances and risks. I need to be more conscious of my actions and how I make other people feel. I need to say yes more than no. I need to eat that In-N-Out Burger without feeling remorse. I need to not live confined to societal norms. I need to work harder on myself. I need to be stronger. I need to live my own truth. I need to text the people closest to me saying that I love them. I need to project positive energy to anyone around me. I need to help others by holding the door or offering a hand. I need to strive to become a better Keir every day.
When my time comes and I see that light ushering me on to Heaven (fingers crossed, right?), or whatever the next journey entails, I hope to welcome death with peace because I already lived my life. I found love and gratitude and positivity and shared with all those around me.
Rest in peace to all those that came before me, and all that will come.
The graveyard photo in Kyoto was taken by a photographer I shot with named Coo who is extremely talented, speaks English and great at creating content!
