While in Chiang Mai, I went to my first Muy Thai fight. There was something rhythmic and beautiful about the form. I was so intrigued I ended up taking private classes. I gained respect for the art of fight.
Flash forward a few months and I’m at UFC in Vegas, watching two powerful people go at it. Not exactly Muy Thai, but similar in energy.
I couldn’t help but cringe. The intense focus, the blood streaming down their faces. Our seats were so close we could see the sweat beading on their skin, then flying off their bodies.
Eventually one of the fighters was in pretty rough shape. He looked like he could be done for at any second. His coach wouldn’t let that happen. He just kept yelling at his fighter, “Find your why! Find your why!”
A bell went off in my head. “Find your why?”
I never thought I’d have such an inspired moment of reflection as two rivals worked to destroy each other. Somehow I found myself thinking back on the book, Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl.
“Find your why” is all about our search for meaning. Once you find it, you not only survive, but live and thrive. You win.
Viktor E. Frankl was a Holocaust survivor and wrote about his experiences in a concentration camp. It’s difficult read, but it’s important to learn from unspeakable circumstances. Man’s Search for Meaning turned out to be one of my all time favorite books for the revelations it holds.
“We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms— to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Frankl studied himself and the people around him. They were in a horrific death camp. They were continually tortured and near death. Watching behavior in this environment brings about profound observations about life and human beings. He determined that our purpose in life is discovering meaning. We find this through significant work, love for others, and courage through adversity.
Frankl also said having a why helps people endure the how. That passion pushes us onward through heartbreak, depression, financial struggles, loneliness, health issues, death.. any obstacle we may encounter.
This is where it gets tricky though, because we can’t pursue happiness or success. They just happen as a result of the life we live, which is created by our meaning.
“Don’t aim at success — the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself…you have to let it happen by not caring about it…listen to what your conscience commands…and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then… in the long run — success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it”
–Frankl
It’s like a mission statement; businesses have them, we should too. What are you passionate about? What change do you want to create in the world? Who do you love? What or who drives you?
What is your inspiration?
Inspiration literally means to breathe life into.
Inspiration often wakes us up, but it doesn’t always strike. We have to make it for ourselves with a consistent, unending why. Think about it. Sometimes we don’t find it until we reach the end of our lives, but our meaning is buried deep inside.
It’s that unstoppable fire that makes you get out of bed every morning and jump, and yell, and dance! Trying to pinpoint something so vital to our core can feel daunting. It may be hard to see initially because it is so natural to us — it’s difficult to see your own quirks because to you they are normal.
If you in the process of finding your purpose and are unsure, take some time in self-reflection and meditation. Sometimes I like to trace my history like a series of movies. Although there are so many different places to start and end, the themes stay the same:
The love I feel for my family and my friends.
My curiosity.
My love of travel.
My love for spirituality.
My need to learn and explore inwardly and outwardly.
I think we need to let go of our leashes. We restrain ourselves. Pressures pile up and we live with our heads down, completing tasks and finding comfort in repetition. It happens to all of us at some time. We suddenly notice it’s been a week, a month, or a year since we changed our routine or our perspective.
Living in the moment helps. Listen to each conversation you have. Experience every interaction. Be grateful for the day, for the food you eat, for the people you know. Focus on what matters most. Trust yourself and your unique spirit and gifts and you’ll find your meaning. Be patient and enjoy the journey along the way and all happiness and success will follow.
