Santa Monica Beach…

Sitting on the beach, my toes digging into the sand, ocean breeze in my face, I meditate on solitude.  People move around me, kids with buckets and teens with weed.  Runners pad along the path next to whirring bikes and scooting Birds.  Santa Monica Pier is to my left, the ferris wheel spinning slowly.  In the distance, several musicians play with boom box instrumental backup.  They sing One Republic and Camila Cabello.  Despite the noise, the ebb and flow of the humans surrounding me, I am solo and free. 

I long for that feeling — one amongst many, watching and experiencing. 

Traveling solo, I’ve learned to savor these precious moments. Centered.  Curious.  Calm.

The last year I’ve been staying in Los Angeles.  There were a few opportunities to travel to Europe, but something called me to stay put.  Ground.  The last 8 years have been filled with nonstop travel.  I craved sinking my feet into familiar sand.  So I’ve been heading to Santa Monica beach daily, observing, writing and reflecting on my past journeys.

The lessons I learned during my four months in Asia were, and continue to be, invaluable.  Traveling alone offers you many opportunities to grow.  To be a mature, authentic and a  happy human, you have to learn to love yourself and function on your own.  Sounds simple, but we can easily cling onto others without realizing it.  We are a social species.  We crave love and companionship.  We work well in teams.  Relationships and friendships can feel like everything, but sometimes we need to learn about life on our own. 

9 Things I Learned While Traveling Solo

1. Self-Reliance

Easier said than done.  The small things in life add up.  Bills, laundry, going to the DMV.  Sometimes we wish someone else could direct our path.  Take care of the errands and the sticky situations.  But without finding our own way, would we grow? 

When you’re traveling alone, you have to do everything for yourself…. you have no other option!  If you’re lost in the streets of Hanoi, you got to trust your survival instincts and find your next destination.  Once you do, feelings of accomplishment and elation result.  No matter how small the task, doing things for yourself is rewarding.  You are a human and you have survived!  You can do anything — build that Ikea table!  No one’s going to hold your hand all the time.  Hold yourself up. 

• Self- Confidence

Confidence grows with self-reliance.  You watch yourself accomplish day-to-day tasks on your own and realize nothing can stop you.  I’ve hiked higher and longer than I thought possible.  I’ve eaten strange foods with googly eyes and enjoyed it.  Traveling expands your worldview and creates a new perspective.  As new experiences occupy your time, your bitter ego is pushed aside.  A deeper self-confidence grows.  You savor the moment. 

• Self-Love

The progression is only natural.  If you’re self-reliant and confident, you’re going to see how amazing you are.  You’re going to love yourself.

On my travels alone, I became my own best friend. We did everything together from dinner to drinks and long walks on the beach.  I came to truly enjoy my own company.  Who knows how to make you laugh better than yourself?

• Schedule My Time

Managing your own time is incredible.  You eat when you’re hungry, shower when you’re sweaty, explore when you’re feeling adventurous and sleep when you’re exhausted. 

There are a lot of hours in the day. This can be taken for granted, but when traveling we learn to take advantage of every moment.  I know I realized how much you can fit into a day… and how much you shouldn’t.

The luxury of following your own mood is such a blessing.  Appreciating your time helps you to schedule life back home as well.  You learn to prioritize.  Do you really need to go to that birthday party, or would your time be better spent reading the book that’s been on your shelf for six months?  Choose your own adventure.

• Talk to Strangers

Starting a conversation with a stranger is hard!  Communication has turned into a complicated dance, but it can be so simple.  You want to talk to someone?  Try.  If they don’t want to talk, they’ll let you know.  I found myself in so many amazing conversations while abroad.  Friends find you, if you’re open to letting them in.  Talking to locals clues you in to all the best sights and restaurants, but it also teaches you about the culture and expands your knowledge.  Also, it’s fun to talk to new people!  Friends tend to mimic each other in speech and habits.  Listening to someone completely separate from yourself and your home can be extremely eye-opening.

• Fart Freely

Yes, seriously.  I know it sounds silly, but think about how freeing that is! Holding it in, much like holding in feelings, causes tension.  Just having the option to let it all out — stress, toxicity — now that is a beautiful experience.  Be yourself and relax.  It’s the most human you can be!  

• Face My Feelings

We distract ourselves often.  Social events, social media, social anything can delay confrontations with ourselves.  We have feelings but we learn to ignore them.  They build.  They worsen.  They affect us in unexpected ways. 

I had to face my myself through my thoughts.  We all do.  When you’re alone for a long period of time, the emotions come forward.  Experience them.  Don’t overthink it.  Feelings are begging to be felt, let them.  They lose their power once they’ve been acknowledged. 

• Process Through Thought and Memories

Yes, there were a lot of quiet moments for thoughts and memories to pop and linger in my mind.  Without a travel buddy to have conversation, your past and present start talking.  Listen.  I was still processing through my breakup while in Asia.  Meditating, contemplating and journaling helped me come to realizations.  I accepted.  I found peace.

• Connect with Myself

When I think of my journey, serenity shines through.  A calming feeling manifests — one of connection to the earth, to others and to myself.  We often let drama run our thoughts and actions.  Our enemies become our internal voice, nagging at our self-confidence and blocking us from enjoyment, love and experience.  Abroad, I learned the importance of presence and through presence, connection is found. 

I encourage everyone to take a trip alone.  If you can’t travel at the moment, take yourself on a date.  Go somewhere with trees or water or sand.  There can be people around, or you can seek seclusion.  Give yourself time on your own.  I guarantee you will love what you find.